Just when my surroundings begin to give me the comfort of waking up to familiarity,
I have to leave.I like this subliminal smell of my house which is a mix of freshly cooked food, clothes worn and washed,children in whatever state emanating the smell of happiness,the smell of my plants sprinkled and watered everyday,the musky smell of the bathroom just vacated by children after a long-playful bath.Its so overpowering that I guess I can start producing incense with these. My house is my place of worship.
I like the ease with which I carry on my daily routine when I've lived in that space long enough to feel this way and I don't want to let it go.Its so visceral.I just get consumed by the space that I inhabit and I love it.It floods me with my memory of what I remember as home..There's a reassurance one derives out of routine.As if your life's in order! Time for children to go out and play,you make time for your own self by hitting the gym or going for regular walks..or knitting,writing,painting,sketching,whatever it is that you like.The children need settling down and so on and so forth.These only come with time when you've lived in the same space for atleast eight
months and you don't have to leave very soon.I even love the chore of spreading wet clothes on the terrace while musing to myself about life,catching up my breath,prioritising chores and making a checklist of what remains before the kids come back from school.
And then comes the imminent question,'what's special today Mom?' my li'l one asks as soon as he hops down the bus.I have to make sure there's something fancy as a treat for him...there's always something,I make sure,it could be Choco-pie,doughnuts,cupcakes,jelly or just plain egg,sunny side-up! and so my days go and every day I take delight in the first bite that he takes and I ask him 'did you like it?' This is a likeable monotony I don't get tired of ....
I would love it if there were no major upheavels! Like shifting base every three years or so...
The mid-day whirring of the ceiling fan in an empty house... khatag..khatag... Oh how reassuring! As if it'll go on forever...in the same comfortable rhythmic pace. It dispels all my anxieties.
The freshly wiped floor mosaic where many a times as kids we'd sprinkle Cuticura,(my brother's idea) , and slip n slide from one end of the passage to the other, making our own fun games like these..climbing the Guava trees with cousins and friends I grew up with or the 'pitthu/pitto' that we used to play with the tenants' children.Or perch ourselves up on the pillars of our main entrance and have 'pachak' from the pachak vendor.These are memories indelibly inked on my hippocampus.
I pine for an establishment.period.You can go around ,come around ,stay with this thought or move on with it...its not going to change.
..I'm soon going to be so busy packing ,shuffling,sorting, readjusting,unpacking.These thoughts will be pushed to the back of my head... only to resurface again..its a scary,insidious thought!
A house gives you the confidence you get from a trusted friend.You know your walls and they, you so well that they may as well start speaking to you.You wish..!
Your child appears suddenly in the dinning hall with a toy and then disappears again and you know exactly, right from where you are sitting ,where he'd have found his cozy nook! That is what a long-standing,permanent abode does for you.It is reassuring and stands by you like an Oak.My child ambles down the corridor in the knowledge of a contented,peaceful,always there space.
And you say to yourself 'All is right with the world.'
That's what a permanent house does to you.Quells your worries,settles you in..
As I paint and handle household,children,larder,dog and plants I am settling in with my own challenges as I have so many times before but this time it seems its here to stay ,this calm.
I am a single parent for the time being,bringing up my two children,all by myself with phonecalls from my husband and family for moral support,which is great indeed!
I usually have a great time cooking up a storm in my kitchen,quite literally.Because the kids demand it. I have to do a lot of prioritising in terms of my childre's needs,activities,wants etc. So, its only imperative that I have my refrigerator stacked up with salubrious ,wholesome food at all times..so that I don't fret at the last hour as to what to feed them..since I'm the only one who has to run around garnering the larder. When the weekend comes I just start making preparations for the Sunday, sort of brunch ,rightaway. It gives me immense pleasure to see the children gorge on stuff that I make. :)
I like the ease with which I carry on my daily routine when I've lived in that space long enough to feel this way and I don't want to let it go.Its so visceral.I just get consumed by the space that I inhabit and I love it.It floods me with my memory of what I remember as home..There's a reassurance one derives out of routine.As if your life's in order! Time for children to go out and play,you make time for your own self by hitting the gym or going for regular walks..or knitting,writing,painting,sketching,whatever it is that you like.The children need settling down and so on and so forth.These only come with time when you've lived in the same space for atleast eight
months and you don't have to leave very soon.I even love the chore of spreading wet clothes on the terrace while musing to myself about life,catching up my breath,prioritising chores and making a checklist of what remains before the kids come back from school.
And then comes the imminent question,'what's special today Mom?' my li'l one asks as soon as he hops down the bus.I have to make sure there's something fancy as a treat for him...there's always something,I make sure,it could be Choco-pie,doughnuts,cupcakes,jelly or just plain egg,sunny side-up! and so my days go and every day I take delight in the first bite that he takes and I ask him 'did you like it?' This is a likeable monotony I don't get tired of ....
I would love it if there were no major upheavels! Like shifting base every three years or so...
The mid-day whirring of the ceiling fan in an empty house... khatag..khatag... Oh how reassuring! As if it'll go on forever...in the same comfortable rhythmic pace. It dispels all my anxieties.
The freshly wiped floor mosaic where many a times as kids we'd sprinkle Cuticura,(my brother's idea) , and slip n slide from one end of the passage to the other, making our own fun games like these..climbing the Guava trees with cousins and friends I grew up with or the 'pitthu/pitto' that we used to play with the tenants' children.Or perch ourselves up on the pillars of our main entrance and have 'pachak' from the pachak vendor.These are memories indelibly inked on my hippocampus.
I pine for an establishment.period.You can go around ,come around ,stay with this thought or move on with it...its not going to change.
..I'm soon going to be so busy packing ,shuffling,sorting, readjusting,unpacking.These thoughts will be pushed to the back of my head... only to resurface again..its a scary,insidious thought!
A house gives you the confidence you get from a trusted friend.You know your walls and they, you so well that they may as well start speaking to you.You wish..!
Your child appears suddenly in the dinning hall with a toy and then disappears again and you know exactly, right from where you are sitting ,where he'd have found his cozy nook! That is what a long-standing,permanent abode does for you.It is reassuring and stands by you like an Oak.My child ambles down the corridor in the knowledge of a contented,peaceful,always there space.
And you say to yourself 'All is right with the world.'
That's what a permanent house does to you.Quells your worries,settles you in..
As I paint and handle household,children,larder,dog and plants I am settling in with my own challenges as I have so many times before but this time it seems its here to stay ,this calm.
I am a single parent for the time being,bringing up my two children,all by myself with phonecalls from my husband and family for moral support,which is great indeed!
I usually have a great time cooking up a storm in my kitchen,quite literally.Because the kids demand it. I have to do a lot of prioritising in terms of my childre's needs,activities,wants etc. So, its only imperative that I have my refrigerator stacked up with salubrious ,wholesome food at all times..so that I don't fret at the last hour as to what to feed them..since I'm the only one who has to run around garnering the larder. When the weekend comes I just start making preparations for the Sunday, sort of brunch ,rightaway. It gives me immense pleasure to see the children gorge on stuff that I make. :)
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